Increasing up, I began to focus on the differences between Italy and you can Kosovo regarding expertise life, particularly about this situation. There’s an expression who may have always been employed by Albanian individuals and i either however tune in to. Whenever a boy becomes married, the parents and you will members of the family say, “I partnered your.” That will not make feel conceptually, one decides to marry and can it. It is not the rest who go for your.
I needed understand this way from defining anything, and so i decided to discover Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” Inside text message, I guess I came across a response. In one of the articles, it claims that everybody works with relationships except for the happy couple. That’s why it seems sensible to say that “i married him.” While the at that time, every ilies alarmed. The happy couple don’t take care of things, they generally didn’t also prefer otherwise such as for instance each other.
Moments features altered and also you try not to read about circumstances such as those more – at the least, I hope not. But an excellent germ of these mindset features remained. The pressure exerted by members of the family and you will family unit members criteria you and guides you to definitely create instance a decision.
Just what has stayed common ‘s the notion of “giving” otherwise “taking” a girl. Even now, ladies however listen to using their families that it’s ideal for them to learn to do certain things at your home, since when they get off due to their husbands they will not have to research crappy. Things like cleaning the family, cooking, offering caj (tea) and the like.
The concept your lady ‘s the object of man is still there. Something that a father decides to give away or perhaps not. That’s what prospects of several to locate partnered immediately after a primary duration of knowing each other, since it have a tendency to goes you to definitely a great girl’s dad seems and you may informs the latest man to determine what direction to go – marry or stop – just like the his girl isn’t a model.
The feminine intercourse remains thought to be an item
Broadening upwards, In addition noticed that the stereotypes where Europeans was basically demonstrated and additionally used on all of us. Someone been divorcing, thank goodness. We point out that due to the fact I think of the life of a lady, given in-marriage or maybe even hitched from the her very own often, locked-up inside your home from the stereotypical Albanian kid, just who suppress you from venturing out and you can carrying out normal social things. We believe it lady picking out the bravery – using a far more unlock people – to depart one house and you may go back to versatility.
The idea of breakup nearly failed to can be found for us, once the females didn’t challenge to depart the guy it hitched. However, I found which our someone also provide people, that our individuals also get married private obtain. Simply speaking, that individuals commonly a lot better than others. We are really not best therefore the “others” commonly the new demon.
I understand if We marry a keen Albanian woman, what you might possibly be marvelous.
And additionally being lucky enough to grow right up in a developed nation like Italy, being in a position to analysis rather than which have was required to alive through the war, You will find the enormous luck of obtaining a couple of parents who have never ever helped me getting this sort of tension. However, I’m it in any event, because that care and attention was born in my lead very long in the past.
Easily marry so you can a low-Albanian lady, just how often my mothers be seen? How can i qualify? Who can reach my house because the a visitor in the event the my partner cannot chat Albanian? Usually she previously go Kosovo? Exactly how do we identity our kids? Usually our kids talk https://datingmentor.org/dentist-dating/ Albanian?